Thursday, December 4, 2008
How can I express my deep sense of the loss of my dear friend Ruth?
We meet at Cunningham School, I think in the 1980's. Ruth taught Gr. 5 and was also the Principal's Assistant. When the Principal was absent, she was the 'go to' designate.
At the time I was an Itinerant teacher of Reading Development with Gr. 2 pupils- so I came into the school once a week. I asked Ruth if she would make her students available as Reading Buddies for the Gr. 2 pupils. She graciously agreed that this program would be of mutual benefit for both Gr. 2 and Gr. 5 pupils.
That's how our friendships began.
Later I became the Resource Teacher for the Blind and Visually Impaired. A student who was Blind was at Cunningham, so I was at the school every day. Eventually the student was in Ruth's Gr. 5 classroom. At this time we worked together very closely.
I admired Ruth because there was no problem that didn't have a solution.
"We will just figure this out." This is what we can do." " That's a great idea."
Ruth was natural born teacher and she had a reputation as a tough teacher. I saw that up close. She would not allow any nonsense or fooling around on her watch. Her voice of displeasure was very distinct and then her long glare and stiff lips would bring order to any situation. Her students didn't know that she often had a little giggle after.
Ruth was a very traditional teacher and her students left her with solid skills and strategies- both for life and academic achievement. She was always fair and positive with her students. Ruth's determination was to teach her students to make good choices.
After pupils moved on to the Senior School, they would come back to visit. Her students loved and admired her. She had a life long impact on them.
Parents told me that they did not move from the Cunningham area until all their children had had Ruth.
One subject area in the Gr. 5 curriculum was "Human Growth and Development" Some teachers found this area difficult to teach. No problem for Ruth. She handled it with great aplomb and no giggles from her students.
After Ruth and I retired, we would meet for lunch once a month.
Ruth was a woman of faith and she was always patient with me and my questions of God's responsibility for unhappiness and tragic events in this world. She always overlooked my expletives.
As we sat over our long lunches, we discussed what we would do with our free time- no more lesson preps, no more yard duty, no staff politics, no getting up on freezing morning etc. I teased and suggested doing "fantasy phone calls". Her comment cracked me up: 'Oh My, I can't do that considering what Roy did for a living!"
This is when I learned another level about Ruth. It wasn't until this time that we shared information about our families.
She loved her partner, best friend and husband, Roy. She was so loyal to him when he was ill and I know she missed him dearly when he passed. She would often talk about the farm, 'their retreat from the world.'
Her two sons, Mark and David were so special to her. She never bragged- not her way- but I could tell when she told me about some accomplishment how proud she was. Ruth knew she had raised two fine mature men who had their priorities straight.
Ruth had a special place in her heart for her daughter in laws, Tracy and Slav. Not many mother -in - laws spend time talking about their daughter in laws with such joy and admiration. Tracy and Slav, you make her sons happy and Ruth thought you were both wonderful mothers. She would talk about how capable and smart you were Tracy and how talented and creative you were Slav.
As all grandmothers, she had special affection for her beautiful grandchildren. Her face lit up when she talked about them.
She had great love and respect for her brother Ian and her sister in law Margaret.
Ruth had affection for dogs. She did whatever was necessary to ensure their good health. When she lost one to illness, she mourned their passing. Dresden, her companion after Roy died, had a special place in her heart. Some might be afraid of Dresden, but Ruth controlled him with love and that powerful voice.
Ruth knew who she was. She didn't need any wordy tome to give her a label. She was an independent confident woman who took life as it came and handled every situation with grace.
I believe heaven is a big Family Reunion so I will see you again some day.
I will cherish my times with you.
Dear Friend I will miss you.
